Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Grandma,Grandma Get well soon!
My dearest grandmother was admitted to NUH today. She has been suffering for weeks. Her leg seems to be in pain and lately, she developed herpes zoster, blister looking rashes, sister of chicken pox. Immediately, I suggested to bring her to the hospital but my mum and aunt/uncles are worried that once she is admitted, she will be stuck or worst, not come out. At that moment, I thought of Z's grandfather. He went in and never came out.
Her condition got worst at home. No choice, she needs immediate attention.
So this time round, I have to make sure that at all times, someone has to be with her!
It is always very frustrating as I am always not there. I am very worried. Although my aunt reassure me that she is doing fine, I want to see her!
Since young, I have always been very close to her. She is one person whom I can confide my greatest secret in. She is always my listening ear and I love to hear her life stories too. We are like best of friends.
Sometimes, she do repeats her stories. I am always amazed at the sparkle in her eyes whenever she says something of the past. Her smile and laughter brings back many precious memories.
She lead a hard life and finally I have earned enough to bring my family for a trip. Yet, her legs failed her. Why can't we be mortal and healthy? Why can't we choose who to eliminate from the human society and who to keep? Why the bad guys survived and the good ones not?
Every time I see her in pain, I feel like crying. I bite my lips, pinch my hand and dig my nail into my skin. Psycho, I know. I cannot cry! Especially not in front of her!
I am the most lousy person on earth! I cannot even control my emotions!
When I was young, she used to piggy back me on her back. She carry me and buy food for me. Now, I have to carry her and buy food for her. How irony.
I wish, I can bring her for a holiday. I want her to recover!
This year is really a bad year. What have we (Z and I) done to deserve all these? Our surroundings are full of time bomb. Bad news roll in one after another. One minute is Z's family problem, the other is mine. Oh god, please please answer our prayers.
Peace. Peace. Peace.
What we ask for is just a simple and peaceful life.
Nothing more. I don't want to be rich, stay in big houses or drive a Ferrari.
I want to run away but I know I have to face the problems. Tomorrow is is a better day, they say.
For me, tomorrow is another judgement day.
Home. I want to go home.
All the way from Johannesburg.
8:02:00 PM