Thursday, June 10, 2010
2010, FIERCE TIGER BROTHER OUT TO HUNT US.
This year is really a bad year. So many unhappy things happen to our family...
We decided to cancel our travel plans in June and stay home for our leave. Pack the house. Hopefully, a change of feng shui, a change of luck. Most importantly, keep his grandma company.
We have been visiting Z's grandma whenever we are in Sg. Each time we see her, she is filled with tears in her eyes. It breaks our heart... There's nothing more we can do but to keep her company.
Each time she sees the joss stick is about to finish burning, she will light up another. Although we do not need to keep lighting the joss stick, it is her way of keeping ah gong company. After all, they have been together for like 60 over years... Its really hard to part... We all miss ah gong. He is a warrior, a fighter all these while...
This is the fragility of life. After all the fighting, you have to let go and leave for another world.
"Do you believe in after life?" Z ask me one day.
Z's brother posted on fb, ah gong got a big house... So this is after life I thought.
.
..
...
Our wedding will be postponed to next year, 2011.
Too many things happened this year. And with the Chinese superstition...
Before all these, we have so many plans:
Bringing our family to oversea, holidaying with them...
Buy a car and bring them for a spin...
Hire maid to take care of our folks...
We thought... after our wedding we will have more time and $ for all the above... but now... ...
Suddenly, everything just seems to pause.
I emailed all the "departments" about Z's grandpa and just suddenly I feel like I'm living in a blurry world. Everything seems to be in slow motion... I'm no longer busy with wedding plans and all...
All I do is work and rest in hotels.
Even when I'm working, I am set to AUTO-PILOT.
My brain stopped functioning.
I feel stagnant.
I have no goals.
I have no direction.
Work, eat, sleep... stay alive...
What should I do with my life?
1:06:00 AM